The Strange Woman

Proverbs 2:16-19

Last week I wrote about getting lost in a jungle village in Guyana. Let’s imagine traveling down all those winding paths with huts on all sides. I know one of those paths leads to where I want to go but I’m not sure which one it is. Now imagine that at each hut there is someone out front trying to lure me in promising me their hut is the one I’m REALLY looking for. Their hut is the one that will make me happy.

There’s quite a variety of huts and promises being made, but eventually you begin to recognize that about every other hut is sexual in nature. There are lots of temptations, lots of empty promises being made, and lies being told. But apparently the most effective strategy the enemy has for keeping me from the right path is the strange woman.

Proverbs has a lot to say about sexual temptation. Obviously, this is nothing new. Sexual sin goes back thousands of years. Once the enemy finds a bait that works, he’s likely to keep using it. Of the many topics we’ll discuss this year, sexual temptation is one of the most powerful. If you can’t walk uprightly in this area of your life, you stand no chance of living skillfully. Let me say that again, you have to get this one right to live skillfully.

Skillful living requires self-discipline. Often people see themselves as disciplined in some areas but not in others. I want to challenge the validity of that thinking. I’m going to suggest either you’re disciplined or you’re not. There are things in life that we enjoy or are especially good at or motivated to do. For example, people can be highly motivated to make money or achieve success to get what they want. That doesn’t necessarily require discipline because you are already highly motivated. 

Discipline shows up in areas where we struggle. Discipline is about doing the right thing even though that doesn't come easy for us. It’s about doing or not doing something regardless of our motivation level simply because it’s the right things to do. That takes discipline. 

This could be anything from how we spend our time to what we eat to how we manage our money. Whether or not we are disciplined shows up in the most everyday practical stuff of life. There are many ways to measure how we are doing, but one practical way is in the area of sexual purity. It takes a lot of discipline to walk uprightly in a sexually contaminated culture. So, let’s start there, how are you doing in this area? 

Lady wisdom is there to deliver you from the strange woman. Who is the strange woman in Proverbs? She represents any sexual behavior that is foreign to God’s design and purpose for sex. Any sexual behavior that God would view as strange. Let’s remind ourselves that God created sex. It was His idea. He’s not trying to manage something that evolved over millions of years. He made us as sexual beings. He’s the expert.

You might rightly ask, where does the Bible say that? Answer, page one. God created people, in His image, male and female (Gen. 1:27). What was the first command to people made in His image? Be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28). In case that’s unclear, the first command was to have sex and produce children. 

But the purpose of sex goes well beyond producing offspring. The intimacy between a husband and wife is meant to be a picture of the intimacy our souls long for with God. You might say it’s a taste of the ultimate intimacy found only in God. Our sexual drive is actually our soul’s longing to be intimate with God.

Perhaps you’ve heard this quote: “…sex is a substitute for religion and that the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.”[1] That is correct. The connection between God and sex is profound. 

This explains why the further we drift from God as a culture the more confused we become about our sexuality. The thirstier our souls, the more vulnerable we are to the strange woman. Sexual immorality reflects our desperate attempts to satisfy that God shaped hole in our hearts. Of course, it doesn’t work—it only leaves us emptier and more desperate. The evidence of our confusion and desperation is everywhere you look in our culture today. 

The strange woman flatters with her words. We might say she entices her prey with lies. She leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. In other words, she leaves her marriage and neglects the vows she made before God. Her house sinks down to death and her tracks lead to the dead. That’s a poetic way of saying she destroys herself and all those around her. None who go to her return again, nor do they reach the paths of life.

Stopping in to pay the strange woman a visit not only delays the journey to the path of life but may divert her victim from ever finding the path of life again. There are no warnings in Proverbs more severe than the warnings related to the strange woman. She’s out to destroy. 

If you are sincere about living skillfully this year, then you must take this issue seriously. The Proverbs will have more to say about this issue but for this week let’s start here: How are you doing in this area? Where are you struggling? What do you plan to do about it? Shame and guilt are debilitating. It’s a miserable way to live. We need to get back to the path of life.

Skillful living is about listening and learning. It’s about believing the truth amid a culture of lies. Read Proverbs 2:16-19. The warnings are clear. Are you going to listen or not?

Our instinct is to keep these types of sins private. We try to manage them and cover them up. We fear what would happen if others knew our secret. On the outside we pretend all is well while on the inside we are slowly dying. A critical step to finding freedom is to tell someone you are struggling. Ask for help. You do not need to struggle alone. Thousands have found freedom in Christ and so can you. It was for freedom that Christ set you free (Gal. 5:1). The strange woman is a liar, but the truth will set you free.

[1] Bruce Marshall, The World, The Flesh and Father Smith (New York: H. Wolff, 1945), 108.