Deliver Yourself

Proverbs 6:1-5

Several years ago I got a call from an estranged friend. He had made a mess of his life and had taken advantage of about everyone who would listen. After many conversations with his parents, friends, and others we all decided we were only enabling his bad behavior and would not give him any more money.  That’s always a hard decision when young kids are involved but I believe it was the right decision.

When he called, I thought he wanted to apologize for all the ways he had used me and others in the past. I’m always about forgiveness and reconciliation so I happily agreed to meet. About 10 minutes into the conversation, I realized he was working me for more money. He wasn’t broken or repentant at all.  He was still the same irresponsible person as before. 

Even after all these years I continue to be befuddled by some people’s utter determination to make a mess of their lives. The question for us is what do we do about that? What is my responsibility to people bent on self-destruction?

Our Proverb this week is helpful for this discussion. My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, have given a pledge for a stranger, if you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of your mouth, do this then my son, deliver yourself.

So what does that mean? The theme is about enabling your neighbor until now you are in trouble. In our culture today we take for granted ways we can finance the things we need. For example, we get a loan to buy a house. It’s a business transaction that is highly regulated. When done correctly everyone wins. We also have many social programs designed to assist people in need.

In the ancient world such arrangements didn’t exist. They didn’t have banks or many social programs. If someone was desperate, others were there to help. There was an expectation that the money was to be repaid but not with interest. It was an act of shalom.

But of course, as you would expect, there were always those ready to take advantage of this arrangement. Some would continually take from others and never repay it. Eventually the community would stop enabling bad behavior. The irresponsible person would then turn to what we call today, loan sharks. People who would loan money to desperate people at extreme interest rates. If the person couldn’t pay back the loan, then the lender would take all he had and make him a slave.

But eventually even the loan shark wouldn’t loan the person money because there was nothing to collect. There was no collateral. This then would require a co-signer to provide surety for your neighbor. This is what the Proverb is addressing. When you have been talked into dealing with a loan shark to enable an irresponsible neighbor you get yourself caught in the trap. Now what?

Deliver yourself. In other words, admit you made a mistake and do something about it. How? The Proverb says it like this: Since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids; Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter’s hand and like a bird from the hand of a fowler.

Again, the language is vivid. The hand of your neighbor means to shake hands on it. For us it would reflect signing a contract or sealing a deal in some way. You’ve made some deal and now you are in deep. The Hebrew term for humble is a word that means to lay prostrate before someone, to let them trample on you. It’s a graphic term. You are now like a gazelle being pursed by the hunter. Get out now before it’s too late.

The basic idea is to do whatever is necessary to get out of this deal. Don’t sleep. Don’t rest. Do something now before it’s too late. Next week we’ll talk about the sluggard who is busy using the people around him. This week is about the temptation to get involved by enabling the sluggard. It may be well intentioned but it’s dangerous business. 

Skillful living involves making hard decisions. If we are not wise in how we help others, we could end up making a mess for ourselves. This could be a business partner. A family member. An employee or employer. It could be a client, a vendor, a customer, neighbor, or a church member. It could be someone who is dishonest, irresponsible, lazy or greedy. Whatever the case, get out now. Take the loss. Humble yourself. The hunter is tracking you down. The time for escape is now.

There are lots of ways to mess up your life but how we handle our money is towards the top of the list. Do what you need to in order to get your financial house in order. Good stewardship means living within our means, learning to be generous and being wise with how we respond to those who have a pattern of irresponsible behavior. 

For this week, if you’ve gotten into something you shouldn’t have, get out. Deliver yourself. Before the week is over, take the necessary steps towards getting the situation dealt with before the irresponsible person takes you down with him. Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids until something is resolved.