Drink Up

Proverbs 5:15-19

A few years ago, I was having a discussion with some college age guys in a coffee shop. We talked about a lot of subjects but eventually the subject came around to sex. In the course of the conversation, I asked them if they understood that the sex drive is actually the soul’s longing for intimacy with God? One young man raised his eyebrows, pushed back from the table and said, “Whoa, never heard that before!” He seemed a bit unnerved, like he was uncomfortable mixing God into a conversation about sex.

I don’t think his response is unusual. Some people may disguise their discomfort a little more effectively but it’s there. Why is that? Why would people think God is somehow either embarrassed by or irrelevant to the conversation about our sexuality? Aren’t we aware that God created sex? It was His idea. 

Another way our determination to be our own God manifests itself is we think we know more about sex and what satisfies than God. How foolish can we be? We feel pleasure because God created us that way. Pleasure is ultimately rooted in God. That’s its origin. That’s why the Psalmist says, In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever (Ps. 16:11).

God’s not a prude. He’s not against pleasure. As a matter of fact, it grieves Him that we are willing to settle for so little when He wants so much more for us. But more has to be experienced according to His design. Our Proverb this week states: Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you.

The topic here is sex and the imagery is powerful. Most homes in the ancient Near East would have had their own cistern of water. It was private. It would have been kept clean and cool to refresh their thirst.  Out in the city square there were large public cisterns. They were there for travelers and foreigners. People drank out of them but so did the animals, including the local rodents. These cisterns were dirty, stagnant, and disgusting but strangers had little choice.

The message of the Proverb is to drink from your own cistern where the water is clean, fresh, and satisfying. In other words, sex with your marriage partner as God intended. Sex is beautiful before God when it’s done according to God’s design. God celebrates water from your own cistern. Why would you choose the dirty cistern in the streets? Why drink contaminated water when God offers you something so much better?

The Proverb goes on to say, let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. I love that verse. God delights in a beautiful and satisfying sexual relationship between a husband and wife. God intended for married couples to experience pleasure together. Sadly, it seems today either sex is talked about in vulgar terms or quietly whispered behind closed doors like it’s something dirty. No wonder kids are confused.

As a married man I understand that every day the enemy is wanting me to grow dissatisfied with the wife of my youth. He wants me to compare her with images that are more fantasy than reality. He tries to convince me that the cistern in the square is better than what I have at home. Well guess what? Not buying it. No way.

I’m not some helpless victim like a puppet on a string. I know he’s a liar. It’s my choice and I choose to delight in the wife of my youth. We have our own cistern, and we treasure that. Our fountain is blessed indeed.

But what about someone who is not married? I’m glad you asked. The message to singles is not to take a cold shower and hope for better days. Just the opposite actually. When sex becomes an end in itself, we seek it for pleasure rather than seeking God. It becomes our idol. But sex is meant to offer only a taste of what ultimately satisfies. Sexual intimacy is a picture, or taste, of the ultimate satisfaction that can only be found in Jesus. 

For those who are single, deep satisfaction and pleasure are yours in a relationship with Jesus. As a single you bypass the taste and go directly to that which satisfies. Rather than doing without you plunge deeply into pleasures forever. Feed your soul what it wants. Drink deeply from the living water that fills your cistern. You are never more equipped to navigate a sexually contaminated culture than when your soul is deeply satisfied in Jesus.

Of course, this is equally true in marriage. Even sex as God intended can’t be a substitute for the pleasure only God can give. My wife gives me a taste of the intimacy for which my soul longs, but she can’t replace Jesus in my life. Only God can fully satisfy.

It’s no coincidence that as our culture drifts further from God our sexual behavior becomes more desperate. Empty souls make for easy victims for the strange woman. To live skillfully in this area of your life you must feed your soul what it longs for. It’s not enough to simply grit your teeth and white knuckle it. Sexual purity flows out of learning to find deep satisfaction in an intimate relationship with Jesus. That has to be a priority to walk skillfully. 

Take a good long look at that dirty smelly cistern in the public square. Is that really what you want? Are you going to settle for that? Living water awaits you in your own cistern if you’ll pursue Jesus as the true lover or your soul.